Sunday, November 28, 2010

Blowing In the Wind




So, let's talk about the weather!

I have always liked gadgets like barometers, even if I never knew how to read them.  They're just cool and make nice wall decorations...even if dating themselves.  But suddenly, now that I'm in Holland, this particular gadget in our front entryway means everything.  You don't even need to know Dutch.  Storm is storm.  That's what it was, stormy, but look how much better it is now.  After I took the picture, I moved the gold arrow to on top of the black...to see what the difference would be the next day, if any.

The thing about us Gemini (you Librans and Aquarians, too) is that because we're Air signs, we need the wind.  Air circulating.  My sister Susan is also a Gemini and makes it very clear if/whenever she needs more circulation in the car or house.  It doesn't have to be cool/cold air...just circulating.  I agree.

Lucky for me, I've landed in a country that lives and moves by the direction of the wind.  Astrid checks the weather on the TV channel every night and often tells me the wind is coming from the east/Russia.  In the summer, that means hot; in the winter it means cold.  Or the wind is coming from the SW off the Atlantic Ocean, meaning a storm/rain is coming.  Have you seen rain that pours horizontally instead of vertically?  It gives a whole new meaning to umbrellas...specifically inverted ones!

When I was 8, I spent an overnight with a girlfriend in her family's farmhouse out in the Michigan countryside.   I don't remember much except that before bedtime a huge midwestern, bombastic thunderstorm unleashed itself.  I was beside myself with fear.  My friend's older sister observed what was happening to me (away from my parents) and motioned me over to the tall farmhouse window where she stood.  She turned me in front of her to look out the window at the storm, with her hands placed firmly on my shoulders.  Not a word.  Just her hands on my shoulders.  I still remember the calmness that slowly seeped into me for what seemed like hours, midst the storm.  It is that eternalized moment to which I point for my love of thunderstorms to this very day.

My children and grandson know this.  Whenever we're together and a storm erupts, they all look at me and wait for me to scrunch myself up and say "Cozy, cozy!"  Then we all smile and share a certain camaraderie without words.  Peace hands on the shoulders.

While I totally understand why most photographers prefer sunny days, I happen to be one who never cares if Mr. Sun is in bed for the day.  For one thing, I'm a fair-skinned redhead who comes from a history of skin cancer.  So as long as it's not raining when I'm out-n-about, I thrive on the moody, with-an-attitude skies.  For me, they make some of my best pictures.  If you know anything about the Dutch weather in this regard, you can see why I was made for this country:  more cold than hot, more windy than calm, more rainy than dry.  Don't get me wrong:  I love the sunny days, too.  But I don't have to have them.

So, when was the last time you talked about the weather and you really were talking about the weather?!  Did someone say SNOW? We got our first dusting this past Saturday and even drove in it early before it melted later in the day.  I kept whispering to myself, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!" 




Sunday, November 14, 2010

On Sense and Sensibility




Every once in awhile Astrid will say to me, "Just hit me over the head with a baseball bat!  Knock some sense into me."

This time she helped me hit my own head because...I needed to quit school but felt too guilty to do it.  Finally, I just did it.  There, I've said it.

What is it about us women, mothers especially, maybe, that keeps us going and going before we finally just say, "Enough already!"  We've made a commitment and nothing will make us quit.  Even if it kills us.

In essence, we believe sticking to our guns, our promises, or our commitments is more important than our quality of life .  We're true to our word and will never be faulted on that.  We may be miserable, but at least we're doing what we said we would do, come hell or high water.  Who cares if the 'story' changed along the way.  We're the consummate martyrs.

But in the end, everyone loses.  That's the thing:  If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

It's longer than this but...after a good, foundational first half of learning Dutch at school, I started getting restless with the second half as it led me into a direction I didn't need/want to go.  I'm 65 and retired.  I do not need to learn about job interviewing or how the Dutch workplace flows.  It might be nice, maybe, to learn about the Dutch political system, how to make a police report for a robbery, or get a newborn baby registered at city hall.  But seriously, I'm not interested.  Nor do I want to take an exam about it at the end.

Did I tell you that once you turn 65, you are not required (like 'most everyone else) to take the inburgerings (integration) exam within your first 3 years in The Netherlands.  Actually, also if you're from the U.S.  But I was so enthusiastic about learning Dutch, they let me into the course and paid tons of money to subsidize me.

My advisor agreed the direction of the second half was not for me but there wasn't another option to replace it, so it was my choice to stay or quit.  However, if I stopped, Social Services wouldn't get their money back.  Talk about a guilt trip!

Enter the baseball bat.  DUH!  If the course doesn't meet the needs of a 65-year-old retired lady who isn't required to take the exam in the first place, why think twice about it!  But I did.  I'm not a quitter.  I wanted to learn Dutch.  I just didn't want to spend needless time on all the other stuff I had no clue would be part of the course.  WAR inside my head.

I finally made the decision a week ago.  Astrid says the stress has fallen off my face.  I'm a new person again, breathing.  The beauty of the whole thing is that here where we live in our senior community are many daily activities and people just dying to help me learn conversational Dutch, now that I've had the foundational start.  It'll be a much more user-friendly 'classroom' with no exam at the end, one letting me work with my own ebb and flow.

Whew!  I still don't like that I quit.  That will never change.  However, my life just got a whole lot better...and a lot more sensible.  You know how they say "If the shoe fits...just wear it."   Anyone out there who needs a good whack with a baseball bat?